I’m listening to the new book published this year, Anything But My Phone, Mom by Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler. I had read her previous book, I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You! published in 2000. She focuses on sharing research and strategies to improve the mother-daughter teenage relationship. I highly recommend this book.
Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler shares research about the impact of Covid and about raising emotionally resilient daughters in the digital age. One point she discusses, which is relevant to what I’ve been focusing on lately, is that girls aren’t learning social and life skills before they leave high school. High Schools offer few classes that discuss how to handle money, etc., and live independently. Colleges are realizing this deficit in their freshmen so they are offering classes to fill this gap.
I hope this new research encourages you to teach your kids the life skills I’ve been discussing. I believe there is too much focus on grades and which college kids attend. I also hear parents avoiding trying to get kids to help out around the house because kids put up such a big fuss. My daughter complained, too. However, I learned how to not let this deter me from what I knew she needed to do. I want you to learn what I and many parents I coach have learned.
Kids need to do chores, have an allowance, a paid job outside of the home, if possible, contribute to their car expenses, and not get something if they run out of money. It doesn’t help your kids if you are an unending ATM and feel taken advantage of. So, this leads me into this week’s Independent Living Skills to teach your children.
Allowance and Money Management
Teach your child to:
- Manage a set allowance that is used for agreed-upon expenses
- Make independent purchases
- Budget money and accept the impact when they don’t have enough.
- Maintain a checking account
- Comparison shops
- Save money
- If possible, earn money outside of the home, such as babysitting or working for a company.
Jen started as a hostess at Red Robin when she was 15 ½. She also did babysitting. Both of these jobs taught her about having or not having money. She never came to me to ask for money when she ran out because she learned that I wouldn’t rescue her. If she didn’t have enough to go to the movies, for example, then she wouldn’t go. Learning about financial limits is an invaluable life skill that kids need to learn before they leave home.
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Copyright 2022 – Cynthia Klein, Family Happiness Expert – Coach, speaker, and author of Ally Parenting: A Non-Adversarial Approach to Transform Conflict Into Cooperation. Learn more about Cynthia’s services and contact her at her website, https://bridges2understanding.com. Contact Cynthia for permission to reproduce any information from this article.
