I received some great insights from my question why is there a resistance to parent education? One idea is that people are uncomfortable with change. It is easier to stay the same even if the situation makes everyone unhappy. The unwillingness to change seems to be a major barrier to receiving parent education.
Another concept that was offered is that everyone else is struggling with their kids so it’s normal to struggle. This struck a deep sadness in me because suffering in my relationships is not normal. I have lived my life based on normal being personal growth and finding ways to become happier. There are many ways to live a life focused on growth.
I would like to offer a different perspective on how to “judge” the quality of parenting. (I dislike the concept of judging but we do it every moment.) Consider evaluating yourself based on how much each family member is growing and maturing rather than on how well children behave. Are you stuck repeating your ineffective actions or are you trying new approaches? One mom told me,
I keep trying to learn how to communicate well with my son. Sometimes it goes well, other times it is hard.” I told her, “I think you are a great parent because you are constantly growing and changing.”
What about your children’s growth? Can you focus on how they are maturing and have compassion for this difficult process? Or are you always thinking that your children are only “good” if they behave and are “bad” if they misbehave. If how you are parenting is teaching your children to gradually become more capable and self-reliant, then I would consider you a successful parent.
What do you consider successful parenting?
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About Cynthia Klein
Cynthia Klein’s mission is to contribute to World Peace and building healthy family relationships is the place to begin. As a parenting expert for over 30 years, parents have learned from Cynthia how to communicate more effectively as an ally rather than an adversary. Her unique Family Harmony System teaches parents of 5 and older how to have open dialogue, solve problems together, support one another, and build mutual respect. Cynthia is the author of Ally Parenting and the video-based self-paced program Win, Win, Win, Parenting. She has presented over 700 talks and coached hundreds of parents privately towards greater family connection and harmony. To learn more about her services of coaching and speaking, contact Cynthia Klein at , visit her website at bridges2understanding.com.
