Here is a great post from Girls Leadership. It supports the listening and problem solving skills that I teach moms and dads.
Pop Quiz: Who does a teen girl turn to first when she’s feeling low on courage?
If you guessed friends, you’d be wrong. The answer was moms.
Surprised? So were we. In Girls Leadership’s first major study, “Dare to Dream, Dare to Act: What Girls Say About Bravery,” 77% of girls ages 13-17 said they turned to their moms for support and encouragement. Nearly half of them said they went to mom first. More than teachers, friends, and dads, girls told us mom was their role model.
That’s big news. Parents of teens are often told to expect a closed door in their faces when their daughter gets upset. The stereotypical teen, we’re told, is sullen, monosyllabic, buried in her phone, or rolling her eyes at a concerned parent. Parents just don’t understand, goes the prevailing wisdom, so expect a daughter to pull away in adolescence and turn to what one psychologist calls the “second family” of her peers.
For generations, psychologists have advised parents that the primary task of adolescence is to become an autonomous individual – essentially to prove that you can stand on your own. Resilience, now a white-hot buzzword in the parenting world, is almost always defined as coping with stress on your own.
But if there’s anything we’ve learned in over a decade of living with, teaching and studying girls, it’s that relationships fortify them. Strong, trusting connections, infuse girls with the courage to try new things, express themselves, and face down failure. Researchers who study girls agree; Wellesley’s Judith Jordan has shown that adolescents, especially girls, are most resilient when they connected with others.
Here is a great experience by a mom improving her relationship with her daughter: Mom Learns How to Encourage Her Teenager
2015 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Family Success Coach since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parenting coaching sessions. She writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. She works with parents of 4 – 25 year-old children. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com or 650. 679.8138 to have a complementary discovery session about finding solutions to your challenges. http://wp.me/p2TgAe-No