The Family is Our First School for Emotional Learning
Excerpt from Daniel Goleman’s book titled
Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than IQ.
“Family life is our first school for emotional learning. In this intimate cauldron we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings; how to think about these feelings, and what choices we have in reacting; how to read and express hopes and fears. This emotional schooling operates not just through the things that parents say and do directly to children, but also in the models they offer for handling their own feelings and those that pass between husband and wife. Some parents are gifted emotional teachers, others atrocious.
There are hundreds of studies showing that how parents treat their children—whether with harsh discipline or empathetic understanding, with indifference or warmth, and so on—has deep and lasting consequences for the child’s emotional life. Only recently though, have there been hard data showing that having emotionally intelligent parents is of itself of enormous benefit to a child. The ways a couple handles the feelings between them—in addition to their direct dealing with a child—impart powerful lessons to their children, who are astute learners, attuned to the subtlest emotional exchanges in the family.”
pages 189 – 190
2013 Cynthia Klein has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with dads, moms and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking, webinars, and private parent coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the magazine Parenting on the Peninsula. Contact Cynthia at bridges 2 understanding, bridges2understanding.com or call 650. 341.0779.
Copyright © 2026, Cynthia Klein, All rights reserved. Please contact Cynthia to use any of her blog post.
About Cynthia Klein
Cynthia Klein’s mission is to contribute to World Peace and building healthy family relationships is the place to begin. As a parenting expert for over 30 years, parents have learned from Cynthia how to communicate more effectively as an ally rather than an adversary. Her unique Family Harmony System teaches parents of 5 and older how to have open dialogue, solve problems together, support one another, and build mutual respect. Cynthia is the author of Ally Parenting and the video-based self-paced program Win, Win, Win, Parenting. She has presented over 700 talks and coached hundreds of parents privately towards greater family connection and harmony. To learn more about her services of coaching and speaking, contact Cynthia Klein at , visit her website at bridges2understanding.com.
