The Family is Our First School for Emotional Learning
Excerpt from Daniel Goleman’s book titled
Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than IQ.
“Family life is our first school for emotional learning. In this intimate cauldron we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings; how to think about these feelings, and what choices we have in reacting; how to read and express hopes and fears. This emotional schooling operates not just through the things that parents say and do directly to children, but also in the models they offer for handling their own feelings and those that pass between husband and wife. Some parents are gifted emotional teachers, others atrocious.
There are hundreds of studies showing that how parents treat their children—whether with harsh discipline or empathetic understanding, with indifference or warmth, and so on—has deep and lasting consequences for the child’s emotional life. Only recently though, have there been hard data showing that having emotionally intelligent parents is of itself of enormous benefit to a child. The ways a couple handles the feelings between them—in addition to their direct dealing with a child—impart powerful lessons to their children, who are astute learners, attuned to the subtlest emotional exchanges in the family.”
pages 189 – 190
2013 Cynthia Klein has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with dads, moms and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking, webinars, and private parent coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the magazine Parenting on the Peninsula. Contact Cynthia at bridges 2 understanding, bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com or call 650. 341.0779.