Raising children has its wonderful aspects and its challenges. One key challenge is finding the time. Time for taking kids to sports, cooking, cleaning, working, enforcing rules, personal care, reading, hugging, and getting homework done to name only a few.
Your time is precious. One question to consider is how much time do you consider well spent and how much time is “wasted”? Do you consider conflict as time well spent? When conflict turns into dialogue and greater understanding and connection then I’d consider conflict well spent.
What about a conflict that repeats over and over and you never find a solution? Then, what about the stress afterward from the worry that your child will always be difficult, never get into college, or whose temper will cause someone to get hurt, etc? Perhaps their sibling? Perhaps you when they hit you?
Yikes! This is a tough topic to talk about however it is important to address how your conflicts and worries are causing you emotional, physical, and time drain.
Let’s get more specific with analyzing your areas of unnecessary stress and worry. I call these areas “unnecessary” because these are points of stress and worry that can be solved.
Ask yourself, “How many minutes a day on average do I spend dealing with these challenges that cause me stress and worry?
| Repeating Challenges | Minutes | |
| 1. | Getting out of the house in the morning | |
| 2. | Making sure homework is done | |
| 3. | Enforcing electronics use or other rules/chores | |
| 4. | Dinnertime arguing and fighting | |
| 5. | Getting to bed on time | |
| 6. | Siblings arguing and or fighting | |
| 7. | Disrespectful language or behavior toward you | |
| Other challenges that cause you stress and worry? |
Let’s say you experience 5 of these challenges fairly regularly with an average of 120 minutes or 2 hours PER DAY!
Challenge:
#1. 15 mins.
#2. 45 mins.
#3. 30 mins.
#6. 20 mins.
#7. 10 mins.
This means that too much of your time interacting with your kids is NEGATIVE. If it feels bad and stressful for you, imagine how it is feeling for your kids. You may think that since they seem to perpetuate the problem it doesn’t bother them.
Not true at all! Especially if your behavior towards them becomes critical, judgmental, and unloving. Is your frustration coming out with language such as:
“Why don’t you…”
“How many times do I ……”
“You are so…….”
The key message I want to leave you with right now is that each of these challenges, plus more, can be fixed when you learn effective parenting strategies. Imagine fixing # 1 and #2, getting out of the house, and managing homework without stress. This means that you could gain up to one hour of peace each day Monday through Friday. That negative time will be replaced with 5 additional hours of joyful interactions each week with your kids!
Then, imagine the reduced stress and worry! How would you feel about feeling more relaxed around your kids?
I encourage you to take time to fill in your chart. I realize this can be discouraging to evaluate the stress and worry that’s happening in your house. Becoming aware and admitting the challenges is the first step. Remember, all of these areas of stress and worry can be fixed!
I’m putting together my video-based DIY Win Win Win Parenting program to give you the tools you need so you can reduce your stress and worry and gain more peace and happiness.
Hope is right around the corner. Stay tuned for more details.
Happy Parenting!
Cynthia
Don’t miss out on this fantastic opportunity to download “The 7 Most Common Phrases Parents Say That Stop Kids From Listening”! You’ll also receive my weekly emails where you will learn how to transform annoying conflict into loving cooperation in your home.
Check out my bonus parenting classes on getting kids to listen, be respectful, cooperate, and share their struggles plus more. CLICK HERE.
Cynthia is available for private coaching sessions so you can quickly get the answers you need and make those much need changes right away. Click HERE for a complimentary 45-minute Fast-Track Clarity Session to learn what you can do now to create more harmony in your home.
