If you want to get into a hot debate, then talk about religion, politics or parenting. There is a tremendous amount of emotions connected to parenting. Most parents feel that they should know how to parent automatically and have control over how their children behave. This belief in control over them can flow into a belief that whether they succeed in life or not is totally up to their parenting ability. If our kids succeed, we can pat ourselves on the back as being a successful parent. If they struggle too much, then we aren’t doing a good job.
As a result, we often put our children under a microscope and evaluate our success as a parent according to our children’s “success” in society’s view. Each person, then, loses their individuality and we view our children as a mirror of our parenting ability. We no longer look at them as separate human beings who are growing in their unique way.
So, the question I ask myself often, why do parents resist getting education on raising their kids? gets even more complicated. This sense of control over and responsibility for our children gets all connected with our self worth and our ego. The belief that I should know how to raise my kids turns into “Don’t tell me how to raise my kids.” If we ask for help, then, too often parents label themselves as “failures”.
Do you feel the pressure to already know how to raise your kids? What makes it hard for you to ask for advice?
(Cynthia’s insights will continues in part 2 of The Resistance to Parent Education}
Cynthia Klein, certified parent educator, bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com. Speaker, provides parent education privately and through webinars. Authors the Middle School Mom Column for Parenting on the Peninsula magazine at www.ponthep.com.