If your child isn’t given ways to feel powerful and valuable to you,
he may try to gain power and recognition in negative ways.
Allow him to help you in ways you choose together (i.e. Grocery shopping, watering plants, writing checks, being in charge of family outings, washing dishes, washing clothes, making a meal for the family, setting the table, etc. )
Share your feelings with her and allow her to be there for you (i.e., “I am feeling sad. Could I have a hug?”)
Allow him to teach you something about yourself and share it with him. For example, “I leaned that I don’t play enough. Thanks for teaching me that,” or “I would like to learn how to use the computer. Would you teach me?”
Create appropriate ways for your children to do what they want and still remain within the essential limits you have set. For example, “I am not willing to have you ride your bike alone to Jason’s. I would be willing to let you go if you let your brother go with you.”
Ask your children for their advice. For example, “What do you think I should wear to work today?” or, “I have this conflict at work with Joe… What do you think I could do about it?
©2013 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking, webinars, and private parent coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, cynthia@bridges2understanding,com, or 650. 341.0779 to learn more about creating the relationship you want with children from ages 4 – 24.
