Are Logical Consequences Really Effective?
Do you set up logical consequences to get your kids to do what you want them to do?
How do you feel about them?
How effective are they?
If they keep repeating the undesired behavior, then they’re NOT effective.
Perhaps you say, “If you don’t put the dishes in the dishwasher, I’ll take your electronics away the next day.” Or, “If you hit your brother then no video games for 2 days.”
The Original Purpose of Logical Consequences
When logical consequences were first taught, the concept was to make the logical consequence connected to the problem. The belief was that kids would understand why they were losing something or a privilege and be less likely to get upset about the consequences with this direct connection.
But, Jane Nelsen, Ed.D , author of 18 Positive Discipline books and teacher of logical consequences, discovered that logical consequences were often done incorrectly. The guideline is that the consequence is directly related to the problem. Parents were missing this point.
When Logical Consequences Become Punishment
Instead, what has happened is that parents are taking away what their children value most, which is often electronics, regardless of whether it is related to the problem or not. This is NOT a logical consequence. This approach is PUNISHMENT which is defined as making kids suffer with the goal of hoping they improve their behavior.
A Real-Life Example from My Family
I rarely used logical consequences but when I did, it was directly related to the problem. Ask yourself what logical consequence you would have used in this scenario that I faced.
My teenage daughter went out at night with permission. However, later in the evening she didn’t answer her cell phone when I called. I became worried and upset because I didn’t know where she was and if something had happened to her. Later I learned that she decided to NOT answer the phone so she could keep having fun.
What logical consequence would you think of in this situation? What is directly related to the “misbehavior”?
When my daughter did come home, I talked from my heart. I didn’t yell and shame her. Instead, I told her how worried I had been and that it wasn’t fair that she put me in this position by not answering her phone. I didn’t want to suffer like this again so in order to make sure this didn’t happen again, she wasn’t permitted to go out the next weekend. (The related logical consequence of how her behavior impacted me.)
She understood and she felt bad. Thus, when she didn’t go out the next weekend, she wasn’t upset or mad at me. The logical consequence made sense to her. And guess what? After that, she ALWAYS answered her phone when I called.
Why Logical Consequences Often Fail
Whether your kids agree to “the consequence” ahead of time or not, there is a good chance you are using punishment and losing the opportunity to teach positive life skills through a discipline approach.
A Better Alternative: The Ally Parenting Approach
I encourage you to use a positive Ally Parenting approach instead. Trying to think of a “good consequence” means that another approach would work better in the long run. A logical consequence is easy because it naturally makes sense. You aren’t having to “figure out” how to make your child suffer believing that by imposing suffering now will make them behave better in the future. It just doesn’t.
I suggest that if you are using logical consequences, that your family would be better served by learning how to state rules and boundaries more effectively instead.
When you learn how to balance power, rather than trying to control your children, you give them more opportunities to develop their confidence and resilience into their adulthood.
To get an introduction of how to review your current limits and reframe them in a more effective approach, I invite you to watch my mini-class How to Successfully Reset Weak Limits with Firm Limits.
Happy Parenting!
Cynthia
Cynthia is available for private coaching sessions, so you can quickly get the answers you need and make those much-needed changes right away. Click HERE for a complimentary 45-minute Fast-Track Clarity Session to learn what you can do now to create more harmony in your home.
Learn about how you can solve your parenting challenges at your own pace with the Win, Win, Win Parenting Program.
Copyright © 2026, Cynthia Klein, All rights reserved. Please contact Cynthia to use any of her blog post.
About Cynthia Klein
Cynthia Klein’s mission is to contribute to World Peace and building healthy family relationships is the place to begin. As a parenting expert for over 30 years, parents have learned from Cynthia how to communicate more effectively as an ally rather than an adversary. Her unique Family Harmony System teaches parents of 5 and older how to have open dialogue, solve problems together, support one another, and build mutual respect. Cynthia is the author of Ally Parenting and the video-based self-paced program Win, Win, Win, Parenting. She has presented over 700 talks and coached hundreds of parents privately towards greater family connection and harmony. To learn more about her services of coaching and speaking, contact Cynthia Klein at , visit her website at bridges2understanding.com.
