Each sibling conflict gives us an opportunity to either teach our children or to try to control our children. It’s not uncommon for kids to try and “make” the parent be the judge when there is a conflict and to take their side. It’s essential to not do this because your children will feel…
Do you have a pretty good relationship with your kids? If you counted the amount of time that feels good and connected versus the amount of time that feels stressful and disconnected how would the scale look? Would it be balanced or more time spent feeling stressed out, on eggshells, or in outright conflict? …
If you are struggling with what words will best support your children’s growth, you are not alone. They are individuals who have a mind of their own. We can’t mold them and that can be frustrating especially when we see them taking a course that you don’t think is best for them. I…
The Supporter Parenting Role: The “Boredom Problem” Example Child: “I’m bored. There’s nothing to do.” Potential parent responses: “What do you mean you’re bored and there’s nothing to do? You can help me fold the laundry, play with your sister, or read.” “I buy you all of these toys, and you just ignore…
I offer a new perspective on figuring out how to reduce rebellion. Most parents focus on the negative behavior and ask “How do I change the behavior?” “How do I get my child to do chores? “How do I…..” This is a narrow view of rebellion which is reactive to the child’s behavior in…
Sunday I had a wonderful conversation with my 34-year-old daughter about childrearing because it’s a topic her friends with children discuss. She was expressing concern about a popular style that she felt was too lax when it came to setting expectations and saying “No” to kids. I chuckled when I reminded her that…
Were you listened to by an adult when you were young? Most of us weren’t because our parents weren’t listened to when they were young. And so the cycle of disconnection continues. But, it can stop with you! You can learn the communication skills and understanding that allowing children to talk about their ideas…
Are you amongst the many parents who grapple with getting kids to do chores or comply with directions? I talk about this problem often because it’s so common for parents to resort to using hurtful words. The strategy of “scolding” kids is a form of punishment based on the concept that when you make kids/teens…
As I was coaching Beth, a mom of a 15-year-old daughter, I heard her amazing success story that I just had to relate to you today. Beth found my book, Ally Parenting, online, read it, loved it, and contacted me for coaching on how to melt the wall that had developed between herself and…
Do you ever hope for a more connected relationship? You would like to be respected because you are respecting your child but it isn’t happening. Why is this? What could you possibly be doing that’s contributing to this lack of connection and respect? Notice where I’m placing the responsibility for change to happen.…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.