Why Punishment Doesn’t Work Here’s the uncomfortable truth. Since the beginning of raising children, the punishment model has been the norm. Punishment strategies are based on controlling children through threats, intimidation, rewards, shaming, etc. In other words, trying to control them by judging them as being either good or bad. Worthy or unworthy. Lovable or unlovable. …
Understanding How Teens Use Their Cell Phones When we discuss our concerns about how much tweens and teens are using cell phones, it’s also important to consider how they are using them. Research on Teens and Screen Time The Harvard Graduate School of Education has a very informative podcast/article about the results of a recent…
When used correctly, the After-Then Parenting Strategy is an effective soft-power approach to guiding kids to do chores in particular. I used this strategy to get Jen to do her chores of cleaning the bathroom and emptying the dishwasher instead of nagging her. Many clients love this strategy because it is so effective when done…
Each sibling conflict gives us an opportunity to either teach our children or to try to control our children. It’s not uncommon for kids to try and “make” the parent be the judge when there is a conflict and to take their side. It’s essential to not do this because your children will feel you…
What do you do when you and your rules aren’t respected? If you have this situation, I imagine you feel challenged with trying to gain respect. This is a complicated problem that doesn’t have one solution. In fact, it takes answering probing questions to try and find the sources of this disrespect. I’d like to…
The After — Then Director Role Strategy As a director, you set up structure to guide your children to fulfill their responsibilities when they don’t want to. Even after problem solving together, they may ignore you or resist your reminders. This is the time to use an effective director strategy. The after-then or work-before-play strategy…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.